My name is Sarah Petelinsek, and I am a domino. If you’re not familiar, dominos are little rectangular tiles. They have numbers on one side, and are blank on the other. But the amazing thing about dominos is, when you arrange them in a line, all it takes is the movement of one domino to spark a fundamental shift in the entire organization. I am that one domino.
I was raised as the youngest of four, very intensely passionate high energy children. My dad spent the bulk of my childhood traveling for work, and so my saint of a mother raised us all nearly on her own, and boy did she have her hands full. Growing up in this environment taught me very quickly, that if you needed something, you had to ask. It taught me a fearless ability to speak up for the change that I wanted.
As I got older, this fearless ability to advocate for myself, translated into a fearless ability to advocate period. If I see an area that could be improved, in a relationship, in a project, in a company, I will boldly and directly advocate for that change. This audacious and daring disregard of traditional conforming mentality has allowed me to challenge the status quo. I am a shaker, and a groupthink breaker. Groupthink is one of my favorite pyschological principles that discusses human's "hive" mind mentality. In this study, they put one subject in a room with actors. They ask the subject which of two lines is longer, a seemingly easy and straightforward task. However, the actors in the room are told to publicly voice the wrong answer, and to all agree on this clearly incorrect response. What the study found is, when the actors voice the incorrect opinion, the subject conforms to their idea, and responds with the actors voiced answer. This has been tested countless times, in various settings, but it all comes down to the same conclusion. if there is a sense of unamity, people will conform to that group mentality, even if they do not agree with it.
Groupthink is a seemingly innocuous phenomonen, however, it can be incredibly problematic when you begin to look at things like toxic company culture, flawed social norms, or stagnant companies. In the corporate world, Groupthink stifles innovation, creativity, and growth, and socially the ramifacations can be much worse. When people are afraid to speak out against problems in group dynamics, oppression, aggression, and hostility errupt.
There is a solution, however. What the Groupthink studies also unveiled is that, breaking this groupthink mentality is quite simple. All it takes, is a domino. See, when one person speaks a dissenting opinion, it breaks the oppressive power of unamity and paves the way for others to speak their minds as well. By being the domino, by voicing a divergent opinion, you open the door for others to advocate for their opinions as well.
"We commit ourselves to telling truths to build bridges to common ground, and bridges that aren't based on truth will collapse. So it is our job, it is our obligation, it is our duty to speak truth to power, to be the domino, not just when it's difficult -- especially when it's difficult." - Luvvie Ajayi
However, being a domino is delicate business. You are voicing controversal opinions, and going against social norms. This puts you in an uncomfortable position, and some people may take your dissent as an act of betrayal, rather than an act of sacrificail love. Fellow Domino, Luvvie Ajayi’s “Get Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable” Ted Talk that truly articulates this shameless and fearless dissent, and how to navigate this awkward social situation, using what she calls "Thoughtful Truths."
Ajayi provides us with three checkpoints to ensure that we are speaking thoughtful truths, to ensure that our dissenting opinions are going to be heard in the way we intend.
Do you mean it?
Can you defend it?
Did you say it with love?
Thoughtful truths are the key to being a Domino, rather than a knife. Being a domino isn't about just saying whatever you want, disregarding others opinions, or cutting others down. It is about being selflessly truthful to strengthen the organization as a whole. it's about speaking your mind in a productive way, to push boundaries, inspire action, and catalyze change.
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